A delightful woman, perhaps 36 years old, came to one of my bedroom classes about four years ago. At the beginning of the first class, when the participants went around the room to introduce themselves, she said she was in this class because she wanted to have sex somewhere in-between the sex she was having […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/finger-lovers-with-text-scaled.jpg18132560Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2023-10-30 15:28:162023-11-08 19:54:24Erotic Sex Is Desired By Women
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that celebrates romantic love. It is a day for lovers. So this Valentine’s give yourself a treat and start early to remind yourself that you are a sensual creature. One of the most powerful things you can do to do this is to bring your attention home to yourself and to […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/freestocks-Y9mWkERHYCU-unsplash-scaled.jpg17072560Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2022-02-22 00:51:222022-02-22 01:06:08Going beyond chocolate and flowers
We arrived in bed, arms around each other and legs entangled. I was thinking about sex and thinking we would make love. My husband then said something, in an almost lamenting voice, asking why he was the one that always initiated sex. His voice wasn’t a total whine, and maybe not even a whine, but it […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Untitled-design-3.png12602240Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2022-01-11 01:21:572022-01-11 01:30:53Going in the Direction of Yes for Sex: A Personal ‘Aha’ Moment
Michelle was a 43-year-old woman in my last bedroom class series before Covid began. She stood out as she was open with her thinking and she shared her inner experience more than the other women in the class. She also got my attention as her obstacle to having a good time in the bedroom was her thoughts, […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/pexels-alleksana-6478949-1-scaled.jpg18002560Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2021-02-18 23:10:502021-02-18 23:23:37Going in the Direction of YES For Sex
The short answer: More than I thought. Many of the women I see in my office tell me about their therapeutic use of marijuana. They take it to lessen their body pain, to get to sleep and to feel less anxious. We list it in their chart on their list of medications. When doing this I […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-aphiwat-chuangchoem-2178565-scaled.jpg17072560Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2021-01-15 17:10:002021-02-18 23:24:22What promise does marijuana have for women’s sexual pleasure?
Living with a mate who wants more sex than you do can become a high-pressure situation with no apparent right answer. You don’t want to say no again; you are tired of saying no. You are tired of that defensive role, of feeling like a stingy female metering out the goodies. Yet you don’t want […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/iStock-863723154.jpeg309640Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2019-07-12 02:49:082019-07-12 02:51:42How to say no when your partner wants sex and you don’t
When I work with a woman to find her libido, I take it for granted that she has a ‘sexual self’. By sexual self I mean the part of her that desires to feel sensual erotic touch. She has a part that wants to be taken to an exciting edge and takes pleasure in falling off […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/A-Womans-Sexual-Self-Silhouette-Woman-Against-Night-Sky-e1584474900648.png475805Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2019-05-24 22:59:062019-05-24 22:59:08A Woman’s Sexual Self
Look at this list and count how many you have: Insomnia/restless sleep ~ heavy periods ~ menstrual cramps ~ irregular periods ~ vaginal dryness or burning ~ hot flashes ~ night sweats or unexplained sweating during the day ~ decreased vaginal or clitoral sensations ~ no interest or a decreased interest in sex ~ anxiety […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Wordpress-Banner-.jpg416740Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2019-04-20 00:01:462019-04-20 00:01:47When a female has three of these symptoms or more it is time for her to get her hormones evaluated
If you’re a capable woman accustomed to getting things done it can be frustrating when things work differently in the bedroom. Many women with high levels of responsibility struggle to shut down their internal dialogue. They don’t become absorbed in the sex that they are having because their attention is busy elsewhere. It’s wonderful to be […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Busy-Mind-Blog-post.png315560Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2019-01-05 01:14:412019-03-18 16:57:15Your Thoughts and the Bedroom Experiences that Rock Your World
Many of the women I see in my office want a “natural” treatment for their sex life. They don’t want a prescribed medication if they can get their libido back in some other way. Many experiment with trying over-the-counter herbs fully aware that there may be more hype about love potions than actual fact, and […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Untitled-design.png315560Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-10-19 22:55:242018-10-26 05:32:22Over-the-Counter Aphrodisiacs with Possibility
Adding your feminine energy into your relationship chemistry raises the excitement level for both of you. It increases desire and appreciation in both the male and the female, and works in non-binary relationships. Even in relationships that have suffered decades-long dry spells, things can turn around quickly, even immediately when this is engaged. It takes […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Feminine-3.png315560Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-07-10 16:58:122018-07-22 21:40:13
Are you an alive sensual feminine being who has a yes for pleasure, and wants to have a great bedroom experience with your partner? Then design your bedroom to be a great space for a romantic and sexual encounter. No kidding – intending your bedroom space to be sensually great for you makes a difference to […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Sexual-Desire-1.jpg10801728Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-06-23 00:01:422018-07-27 22:34:16Set the Stage for Delicious Sexual Events
There is quite a lot to celebrate about the female body and how it responds to and is geared for pleasure and female orgasm. It is quite marvelous. When arousal is triggered, cascades of events occur. Neurotransmitters release from a woman’s brain and she gets a nice tingly feeling in her genital tissue. Her nipples […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Body-Designed-for-Pleasure.png315560Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-06-15 22:18:032018-06-15 22:18:03A Body Designed for Sexual Pleasure and Female Orgasm
Hundreds of women have told me, “I love my husband, but I am no longer interested in having sex.” Hundreds! Millions more are out there. More than 500 million women in the world are post-menopausal. Many of these women still want to be interested in sex, they just aren’t. Trisha was 62 years old when […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Post-Menopausal-Women-1.jpeg424800Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-05-18 22:13:532018-07-27 22:51:29There is no better time in history to be a post-menopausal woman who wants to have a great sex life
Having PCOS is like being dealt a hand of genetic cards. You can play those cards so that you feel your best, sexually and in terms of your energy and mood. Your lifestyle, your diet, and hormonal management are all important pieces to manage the hand you have been dealt. First thing to know is […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Steamy-girl-Angry.jpeg36485472Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-05-11 22:54:042018-07-23 01:28:02How PCOS Can Affect Your Sex Life
Heather was thirty-one when she first came to my office for help to locate her sexual desire. Her sandy blonde hair had an angled cut that came right below her chin. She walked in, sat down in the office chair right up against my clinic desk, and looked directly at me and said, “Tell me […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Pill-.jpg532800Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-05-05 00:17:542018-07-23 00:08:20Birth control flattening your sex drive?
Signed, a woman with little to no desire for sex Of the low libido women who come to see me, roughly two or three out of twenty will have testosterone levels low enough that I identify it as a contributing factor to their low sex drive. Could that be you? It is important for you […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Do-I-need-to-test-my-testosterone-levels-2.jpg518800Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-03-10 01:48:502018-07-27 22:23:09Question: Do I need to get my testosterone level tested?
Sexual desire is funny mystery. You want to be relaxed enough so that you can then enjoy a build up of tension. It seems like two different directions at the same time, yet that is how sex works. The following current medical research looks at these two directions: MRIs were taken of the brains of […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/The-Female-Brain-and-Level-of-Sexual-Desire.jpeg17293589Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-01-26 22:07:252018-08-06 00:27:57The Female Brain and Your Level of Sexual Desire
“Treat Your Vaginal Dryness Early” are the words I would put on large billboards along I-5 and along other major highways in the US. I want to get the word out to women sooner about this common problem. Many women I see have waited months or years to seek treatment, and I cringe at the […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Woman-and-Lotus-2_edited-1.jpg533800Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2018-01-10 00:59:242018-08-06 00:26:56Sex Doesn’t Have to be Painful
These tips are from a handout given out at a recent couples workshop. Read
through the list together as it can start an intimate conversation or even a more interesting engagement.
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Couple-in-loft-BW-4.jpg533800Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2017-11-16 01:07:202018-07-27 23:13:45How to Keep the Bedroom Alive and Interesting for Both of You
On July 24, 2017 the Vaginal DHEA suppository we have been hearing about for five years became commercially available. Called Prasterone, with the brand name Intraosa, it is available by prescription. It is for the treatment of sexual pain during intercourse due to menopausal changes. Prasterone (DHEA) is converted locally in the vagina into androgens […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/mortar-and-pestle.jpg533800Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2017-11-16 01:05:222018-08-06 00:28:18New Treatment for Menopause and Vaginal Dryness
When women get in bed with their mates and start touch that leads to sex, they are often not yet physically turned on. They may be starting at a zero level of sexual arousal — or a two or three — out of ten. Their partner may already be at 7 or 8 or higher. […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Couple-in-jeans-1.jpg238480Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2017-05-18 22:57:192019-03-18 17:11:18A Focus on Your Arousal
The women I see in my office express a yearning for a deep connection and a big love affair, for a mate that treasures them more than anyone else. They want this passion and excitement in their everyday lives. Preferably they want to have this with their current husband, or partner. They do not want […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Sexual-Health-NewsViews-BW.jpg534800Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2015-02-17 22:38:332018-08-05 22:20:43Women and Sexual Desire: Adding clarity into this mystery
There is quite a lot to celebrate about the fame body and how it responds to and is geared for sexual pleasure. It is quite marvelous. When arousal is triggered, cascades of events occur. Neurotransmitters release from a woman’s brain and she gets a nice tingly feeling in her genital tissue. Her nipples become firm, […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Designed-for-pleasure.jpg242300Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2015-02-17 22:33:582018-08-05 22:03:26A Body Designed for Sexual Pleasure
Women want to have an interesting and compelling time in the bedroom. They want experiences where they melt and merge with their partners, have exquisite sensations, and have feelings that are too big and beautiful to be described in words. If you want to invest in having this kind of a sex life, one practical […]
https://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/An-Event-BW.jpg237300Susan Kay Preslarhttps://fanningthefemaleflame.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/logo-web-sm.pngSusan Kay Preslar2015-01-29 23:05:142018-08-05 21:20:31Create an environment for an “EVENT”
Erotic Sex Is Desired By Women
UncategorizedA delightful woman, perhaps 36 years old, came to one of my bedroom classes about four years ago. At the beginning of the first class, when the participants went around the room to introduce themselves, she said she was in this class because she wanted to have sex somewhere in-between the sex she was having […]
Going beyond chocolate and flowers
UncategorizedValentine’s Day is a holiday that celebrates romantic love. It is a day for lovers. So this Valentine’s give yourself a treat and start early to remind yourself that you are a sensual creature. One of the most powerful things you can do to do this is to bring your attention home to yourself and to […]
Going in the Direction of Yes for Sex: A Personal ‘Aha’ Moment
UncategorizedWe arrived in bed, arms around each other and legs entangled. I was thinking about sex and thinking we would make love. My husband then said something, in an almost lamenting voice, asking why he was the one that always initiated sex. His voice wasn’t a total whine, and maybe not even a whine, but it […]
Going in the Direction of YES For Sex
UncategorizedMichelle was a 43-year-old woman in my last bedroom class series before Covid began. She stood out as she was open with her thinking and she shared her inner experience more than the other women in the class. She also got my attention as her obstacle to having a good time in the bedroom was her thoughts, […]
What promise does marijuana have for women’s sexual pleasure?
UncategorizedThe short answer: More than I thought. Many of the women I see in my office tell me about their therapeutic use of marijuana. They take it to lessen their body pain, to get to sleep and to feel less anxious. We list it in their chart on their list of medications. When doing this I […]
How to say no when your partner wants sex and you don’t
UncategorizedLiving with a mate who wants more sex than you do can become a high-pressure situation with no apparent right answer. You don’t want to say no again; you are tired of saying no. You are tired of that defensive role, of feeling like a stingy female metering out the goodies. Yet you don’t want […]
A Woman’s Sexual Self
UncategorizedWhen I work with a woman to find her libido, I take it for granted that she has a ‘sexual self’. By sexual self I mean the part of her that desires to feel sensual erotic touch. She has a part that wants to be taken to an exciting edge and takes pleasure in falling off […]
When a female has three of these symptoms or more it is time for her to get her hormones evaluated
UncategorizedLook at this list and count how many you have: Insomnia/restless sleep ~ heavy periods ~ menstrual cramps ~ irregular periods ~ vaginal dryness or burning ~ hot flashes ~ night sweats or unexplained sweating during the day ~ decreased vaginal or clitoral sensations ~ no interest or a decreased interest in sex ~ anxiety […]
Your Thoughts and the Bedroom Experiences that Rock Your World
UncategorizedIf you’re a capable woman accustomed to getting things done it can be frustrating when things work differently in the bedroom. Many women with high levels of responsibility struggle to shut down their internal dialogue. They don’t become absorbed in the sex that they are having because their attention is busy elsewhere. It’s wonderful to be […]
Over-the-Counter Aphrodisiacs with Possibility
UncategorizedMany of the women I see in my office want a “natural” treatment for their sex life. They don’t want a prescribed medication if they can get their libido back in some other way. Many experiment with trying over-the-counter herbs fully aware that there may be more hype about love potions than actual fact, and […]
Adding your feminine energy into your relationship chemistry raises the excitement level for both of you. It increases desire and appreciation in both the male and the female, and works in non-binary relationships. Even in relationships that have suffered decades-long dry spells, things can turn around quickly, even immediately when this is engaged. It takes […]
Set the Stage for Delicious Sexual Events
UncategorizedAre you an alive sensual feminine being who has a yes for pleasure, and wants to have a great bedroom experience with your partner? Then design your bedroom to be a great space for a romantic and sexual encounter. No kidding – intending your bedroom space to be sensually great for you makes a difference to […]
A Body Designed for Sexual Pleasure and Female Orgasm
UncategorizedThere is quite a lot to celebrate about the female body and how it responds to and is geared for pleasure and female orgasm. It is quite marvelous. When arousal is triggered, cascades of events occur. Neurotransmitters release from a woman’s brain and she gets a nice tingly feeling in her genital tissue. Her nipples […]
There is no better time in history to be a post-menopausal woman who wants to have a great sex life
UncategorizedHundreds of women have told me, “I love my husband, but I am no longer interested in having sex.” Hundreds! Millions more are out there. More than 500 million women in the world are post-menopausal. Many of these women still want to be interested in sex, they just aren’t. Trisha was 62 years old when […]
How PCOS Can Affect Your Sex Life
UncategorizedHaving PCOS is like being dealt a hand of genetic cards. You can play those cards so that you feel your best, sexually and in terms of your energy and mood. Your lifestyle, your diet, and hormonal management are all important pieces to manage the hand you have been dealt. First thing to know is […]
Birth control flattening your sex drive?
UncategorizedHeather was thirty-one when she first came to my office for help to locate her sexual desire. Her sandy blonde hair had an angled cut that came right below her chin. She walked in, sat down in the office chair right up against my clinic desk, and looked directly at me and said, “Tell me […]
Question: Do I need to get my testosterone level tested?
UncategorizedSigned, a woman with little to no desire for sex Of the low libido women who come to see me, roughly two or three out of twenty will have testosterone levels low enough that I identify it as a contributing factor to their low sex drive. Could that be you? It is important for you […]
The Female Brain and Your Level of Sexual Desire
Popular Blog Posts, UncategorizedSexual desire is funny mystery. You want to be relaxed enough so that you can then enjoy a build up of tension. It seems like two different directions at the same time, yet that is how sex works. The following current medical research looks at these two directions: MRIs were taken of the brains of […]
Sex Doesn’t Have to be Painful
Popular Blog Posts, Uncategorized“Treat Your Vaginal Dryness Early” are the words I would put on large billboards along I-5 and along other major highways in the US. I want to get the word out to women sooner about this common problem. Many women I see have waited months or years to seek treatment, and I cringe at the […]
How to Keep the Bedroom Alive and Interesting for Both of You
NewsThese tips are from a handout given out at a recent couples workshop. Read
through the list together as it can start an intimate conversation or even a more interesting engagement.
New Treatment for Menopause and Vaginal Dryness
Popular Blog Posts, UncategorizedOn July 24, 2017 the Vaginal DHEA suppository we have been hearing about for five years became commercially available. Called Prasterone, with the brand name Intraosa, it is available by prescription. It is for the treatment of sexual pain during intercourse due to menopausal changes. Prasterone (DHEA) is converted locally in the vagina into androgens […]
A Focus on Your Arousal
Popular Blog Posts, UncategorizedWhen women get in bed with their mates and start touch that leads to sex, they are often not yet physically turned on. They may be starting at a zero level of sexual arousal — or a two or three — out of ten. Their partner may already be at 7 or 8 or higher. […]
Women and Sexual Desire: Adding clarity into this mystery
NewsThe women I see in my office express a yearning for a deep connection and a big love affair, for a mate that treasures them more than anyone else. They want this passion and excitement in their everyday lives. Preferably they want to have this with their current husband, or partner. They do not want […]
A Body Designed for Sexual Pleasure
NewsThere is quite a lot to celebrate about the fame body and how it responds to and is geared for sexual pleasure. It is quite marvelous. When arousal is triggered, cascades of events occur. Neurotransmitters release from a woman’s brain and she gets a nice tingly feeling in her genital tissue. Her nipples become firm, […]
Create an environment for an “EVENT”
NewsWomen want to have an interesting and compelling time in the bedroom. They want experiences where they melt and merge with their partners, have exquisite sensations, and have feelings that are too big and beautiful to be described in words. If you want to invest in having this kind of a sex life, one practical […]